My Victory Song

I just love Gil. He always says just the right thing. He inspires me. That’s what good people do. They encourage, they build you up, and they inspire. Anyway, he said that I’m in a really good place right now…so childlike, so free, so unencumbered.

It made me realize something…

That’s me right there. I was probably eleven or twelve when that was taken.

I was childlike. And I hadn’t met my sneaky, slimy- subtle and manipulative enemy.


After Gil made that comment, I had an epiphany. FEAR is partly behind my recent obsession with art. It’s helping me avoid a few things; mainly, my writing. I DO love the projects, don’t get me wrong, but I NEED to write. It’s how I grow- mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

Here’s the deal. When you’ve been in a VERY dark place, and you finally get OUT… you ARE childlike. You’re FREE! Looking at some of my posts, I hear my childish voice, and can imagine myself, skipping and singing songs about silver linings and rainbows.

And FEAR tells me to feel embarrassed.

I worry about what others think; that they’ll say I’m naïve, or too happy, or that I’m living in some kind of fantasy la-la-land.

This blog is for sharing my journey, but it’s not MY journey if FEAR is manipulating my thoughts, words or actions to conform, or try to please the masses. Not that the masses are reading my blog, mind you!

Just ONE viewer is enough for fear to cast its shadow on me. That’s how powerful he is. Fear led me to drink not long after that picture was taken, because I was afraid of what the masses thought. And I was just a child!

I’ll be damned if I’ll let that soul sucker back into my head. So, I’m shaking him.

No more fear.

I’ll continue with my art. I love it! But, writing the TRUTH about what’s in my head comes first. That’s all. I’m moving on now…Skipping away… through the flowery meadow… leaving the enemy in the dust. And with a melodic, childlike voice…

I’ll sing my victory song.

This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9