I heard the perfect analogy last night. A light bulb went on, and I knew that I needed to use it in this series. “A hound dog will eat itself to death.” Or, maybe she said “…will continue to eat whatever is in front of it until it dies.”
I did my research when I got home, and was relieved to learn that this dog will do no such thing! But… when I talk about that void, the insatiable emptiness that drove me to my never ending pursuits of… More, MORE, MORE… that statement is a FACT.
Janet will (insert action word here) until it kills her.
Left to my own devices- I will overdue things to the point of self-destruction, sickness, or far worse- Death.
I’m skipping through twelve years of my life today. It’s the Christmas season, and I want to focus on the GOOD. I want to cut to the chase- and tell you what SAVED me, and set my recovery in motion. Step Two!
STEP TWO: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
I came to BELIEVE!
There are so many things that I want to share. Events, breakthroughs, God Winks (AKA coincidences), trials, triumphs… and so on, but today I want to share ONE.
Thank you Moosey for the beautiful verse image!!
On March 6, 2016- two women from church and recovery picked me up at a supermarket (where I sat in a stupor), and drove me to the hospital. My blood alcohol content was around .34 when they tested me, and I stayed there to detox for three nights.
I came out with a crushed spirit, and a new determination. My first day of sobriety was March 7th, and I made my decision. March 7th was IT.
THAT was my day. I claimed it!
In October, just before starting this blog, the Book of Esther kept coming up. All over the place. Like five different times, within a two week period!
FINALLY, one night I sat down and said “Father… I’m going to read this book because I think you’re trying to tell me something.”
When I told a group at church that…they kind of laughed at me. Not AT me, but with me. See… I’m kind of new at believing, and understanding how God talks to us, so sometimes it takes me a while. I think Gil would say that I’m a toddler, just learning to walk.
Anyway, as I read the story… the date March 7th kept appearing. MANY times! The version that I chose that particular night (NLT) literally spelled out the date, in black and white, as the date that Esther’s people defeated their enemies.
So, there I was. Completely AMAZED. Thinking, hmmm… What does this mean??
I proceeded to read a random study guide, which explained that the Jewish people represent GOOD or FAITH; and the enemy, or the Haman’s of the world, represent EVIL or DOUBT.
That evening, as I put the book down, I realized that God WAS trying to tell me something.
I had just read my story!
March 7th 2016 was the date of my Victory– The victory of FAITH over DOUBT.
I don’t know about you, but that fills me with excitement and joy! It’s a perfect day today! A beautiful Sunday…to praise God and to say Thank you Father…
…Thank you for the GIFT of BELIEF!