Unteach Me

I titled my story Unteach Me because I’ve learned throughout the last two years, after finding God, that I’d always been looking at life wrong. Not only did I have a lot to learn, but I had a lot to unlearn.

The following pieces were written before I started blogging, and I shared a chapter a day after I decided to start my blog and begin sharing my story. 15 to be exact. For anyone who would ever like to read the story in it’s entirety- I thought I’d make it easier to navigate by adding this table of contents.

IN THE BEGINNING: Looking back, I can clearly see that this would have been the perfect time for me to find God. Instead, I found alcohol.

REWRITING YOUR STORY: The very first drink I took fixed everything. I was no longer tongue-tied. I felt comfortable in my own skin. I was courageous!

THE AUTHOR OF MY LIFE: I was always STRIVING. I strived to be ultra-independent, to make money, and to be totally self-reliant. Then I strived to be stress-free so that I could somehow be happy and content!

SWEET SURRENDER: Nearly two years ago, in the throes of a downward spiral, I fought to hold myself and my business together- by a thread. The harder I held onto that thread the more everything seemed to unravel.

HEARING GOD’S WHISPER: Whenever I talk about finding God, I always wonder how people perceive that. You know… like… I wonder if they think I saw a vision (or thought that I did).

A LIGHTER LOAD: Whenever I quit drinking before, it was merely that. I quit picking up the glass. I would continue on…just as I had (but with a clear head).

GIRL TALK-PART ONE: I hit my first DETOUR in June of last year. I was living in a studio, and had just started a part-time job that would keep me there.

GIRL TALK-PART TWO: The world around me had groomed me in such a calculated way that I was fooled, and I was just beginning to see things in a new light.

A SPRINKLE OF FAITH: I began with a blank piece of paper, and had absolutely no idea how it would all turn out, but I set my sights on a glorious future. The possibilities were boundless.

THE COMEBACK KID: After getting back on my feet, both in sobriety and with the broken ankles finally healing, my journey got real. Stupid real.

FIGHTING TO WIN: When I mentioned “taking down the enemy” in my last post, I was talking about sobriety…and my own spiritual battle. I wasn’t declaring war on men.

THROUGH GOD’S EYES: Perhaps imagining how people look through God’s eyes was helping me grasp that things aren’t always black and white. I was learning to appreciate the bigger picture, where the two extremes merge together to create countless shades of gray.

THE GREAT ESCAPE: I realized that my things were holding me hostage. I had created my own prison, trying to hold on to all of that stuff, and now the shackles were coming off.

A STEP FORWARD: If they hadn’t challenged me, I might still be up on my diva-like pink throne… daydreaming about another fish to fry and buying time until my next fall.

A CHILD OF GOD: How I saw things now was that a curious young girl stood before me… full of intriguing thoughts and questions about life… and I silenced her.