Expectations (A Poem)

Oh endless anticipation
I dream of what’s to come
I miss entire symphonies
while beating my own drum

The road beyond entices me
I’m focused miles ahead
Forever running to get there
trampling flowers under tread

I dreamed the world was perfect
Expectations never cease
The thing that I am lacking is
a sense of inner peace.

I miss my grandson calling me
neglect to see his tears
Selfish thoughts consume me as
I ponder my own fears

It’s tragic to be in my head
that keeps me locked away
Worrying of tomorrow
or what happened yesterday

I’d change the way I see things
If only I knew how
to conquer the big secret
…of living in the now.

I wrote this poem in 2015 when I was struggling with relapses and trying to overcome my stinking thinking—as they say in the program.It feels really good to read this and know that I think nothing like I used to. I no longer anticipate too much, expect too much, or stay trapped in my head too much.

I have peace.

Praise God for that!