So, don’t freak out… but tonight, which is actually this morning… my mood is confined. I guess that’s considered a mood, no?
Today was absolutely weird! First, this evening I felt this sudden burnout about the photography. I think it’s because I was looking at ALL of the older one’s I’ve shot over the last few weeks and it seemed so stale, and I’m tired of taking pictures in my backyard! (It’s been raining past few days)
Second, I haven’t felt like writing because there is either too MUCH on my mind, or nothing at all!
I did say I was going to relax today, but my mind was so empty it felt like mush!
A bit of worry came over me- like what’s happening, you know? And then tonight I got a call from a man friend. One that I wrote about in my first story… a man that I pursued… who was a part of the whole big mix of my loneliness- unhealthy relationships- drinking pattern.
Nothing has happened, but I started to feel trapped. Maybe I’m just afraid of what might happen when I step out of this safety net of singleness and get back out there.
It’s funny because I was just thinking earlier that since the photography and writing are good replacements for my old BAD habits… if I lost the passion for those things then what would be next? And then he calls. A little bad timing I guess.
So now that I’ve written that, maybe I don’t feel trapped after all. Maybe I feel that it IS a trap. A trap that I don’t want to fall into.
The image is a photo of me at the old zoo, in a cage. It might not look like that now, but that’s what it started out as. I had my friends take it and they didn’t do a great job so I had to crop off my backside. 😉
I just worked on it while I was thinking about my caged mood.
That’s all for now. I think I can rest now. Have a great morning, afternoon or evening!