What If?

Pondering


I’m getting a little carried away with the wild experimentation, but what the heck!?! There hasn’t been much around to photograph lately, so I’ve been playing with effects and colors. And it’s threatening to rain now.

Anyway, what I really wanted to say is that I’ve been pondering my life a little this morning and had a random, but very important thought. About fear.

You know… I don’t think I really ask myself the question: What if I fail?

Well, maybe- when I have to take a test or something- but I mean when it comes to taking chances and just going for it when you have a goal, or a dream. If I want something bad enough I’m never afraid of failure.

When I started my virtual business, I was renting a room in Arizona for $300 a month, sleeping on a blow-up bed, and had no car- so failure was the farthest thing from my mind! Maybe that’s the beauty of “nothing left to lose“.

Although, then came the realization behind: be careful what you wish for. My business DID finally take off and along with that came 10-12 hour days, 6-7 days a week, no vacations from the computer (had to take it wherever I traveled), and eventually tennis elbow from excessive mouse usage.

My point is, I wasn’t afraid of failing and I gave it my all- without hesitation.

What occurred to me today is that, in the here and now- and in the back of my mind- I’ve JUST realized that my biggest fear is…

What if I succeed???

Coming from someone who spent a good part of her life self-sabotaging, I think this makes total sense and I’m not sure why I didn’t realize that sooner.

So… now that I’ve figured that out, it’s time to fix it. More to ponder. 🙂

Peace and Love Everyone!!

Until later- Janet