It seemed kind of strange when I said that I want to separate the topics in my blog, because most of my journey thus far has been about piecing myself together, to bring about wholeness. And now here I go… separating things. 😉
BUT… I’ve been listening a lot lately and the more I do, the more it’s all making sense.
When I first started working with my sponsor, she had me read a chapter in the big book (HOW IT WORKS), instructing me to change some of the words as I read it aloud; so that it was speaking to ME, and ABOUT me.
Fully understanding that chapter was the beginning of my real recovery, HOWEVER… I’ve never read the book in its entirety. In my one year of sobriety I’ve probably read twelve or more books from cover to cover– but that big blue book normally sits on the shelf- collecting dust. And in all honesty– my Bible sits alongside of it most of the time.
Why is it so easy to ignore the two books that are the MOST important to me, my recovery, and my spiritual progress? The only reason that I can come up with is: because I’m human. And I’m not here to say that I’m beating myself up over it, because I’m not. I’m just making an observation, and thinking about growth, and some upcoming changes.
Working on photographs (or art) is a form of meditation for me. It keeps my thoughts focused on the image; the present moment. Not the past, and not the future. If you’ve seen how many images I share; it’s obvious that I’ve been meditating a LOT! 😉
Anyway, last night I shared the quote: “Art is the only way to run away without leaving home.” -Twyla Tharp. Reading that quote confirmed something that I always ponder, which is that my art is also a form of escapism.
It’s so easy to get LOST in it. While it IS very cathartic… it’s also a way for me to hide from this call to growth that’s been whispering (or yelling somewhat loudly!) in my ear. Anyway, I think I’ve just been waiting. Waiting to feel convinced that I’m really ready to move on to the next step…
Step Twelve: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other alcoholics…
The fact of the matter is that I AM ready, and I finally made a commitment last night to spend more of my free time at meetings, working with other alcoholics. I did a little catch up reading, and it didn’t take more than a few paragraphs for me to see that my decision to step into action was one of the best choices I’ve made lately.
Below are some excerpts from the big book, using my sponsors tip. I’ve edited the wording so that it applies directly to ME:
It is imperative that I work with others. Faith without works is dead, and how appallingly true for ME (an alcoholic)!
If I fail to perfect and enlarge my spiritual life, through work and self-sacrifice for others, I cannot survive the certain trials and low spots ahead. If I do not work, I will surely drink again, and if I drink, I will surely die.
Then faith would be dead indeed.
So… it’s pretty obvious that not only do I need to work with others for the sake of being of service; I need to do it for myself.
I’ll continue to share my journey, and I’ll continue to share my art, but I want to keep the posts somewhat separate. For now. Which would explain the lack of a featured image this morning. 🙂
Peace and Love! I hope that everyone had a fabulous weekend! ♥♥♥