This is my take on another photograph from my recent trip to the zoo. It was actually a moving light that shone on the concrete walkway to form what I believe is a rose, or some other type of flower.

I used a paint effect to accentuate the lines a little. It’s not one of my favorites, but I thought it went really well with the Word of the Day challenge, the word being kinky; as in “having kinks or twists.”

I had to mention this definition because I had several thoughts earlier, when I tossed around all of the ideas that came to mind when I read the word “kinky.” After pondering for a bit, I decided that transparency was an excellent title for my post because, in all honesty, the thoughts that came to my mind had nothing to do with flowers!

What I’m trying to say is that I started thinking about honesty, authenticity and transparency—and I realized how I put certain restrictions on myself when I share here. 

In my own defense, I sort of set the tone for things when I first decided to share my story about getting sober and finding God. And even though things morphed into photography and art, as well as other little tidbits, I try to stay within certain boundaries.

When I had to write and turn in journals for the last English class I took, I enjoyed it so… SO much! I noticed how free I felt when I was writing for just “one” reader—my professor—and I have to say that I wrote whatever I was thinking. Even better, not once did I experience writers block.

All that being said, I think that in coming into this “new” life I’m now living, sometimes I struggle with the differences between the old me and the new me. Well, that’s not exactly true; this is not an inward struggle I’m talking about. I wrestle over what I will or will not share, because of how I want to present myself here.

As that thought came to me, I realized that censoring myself is like being phony—it’s anything BUT authentic and transparent.

I think there are so many great things I could write about if I could just let that wall down and write whatever it is that’s on my mind… the good, the bad, and the ugly. 

Or the kinky.