The Wallflower

An Ode to Introverts

Solitude,

You are so dear to me.

Sometimes I wonder,

Do I love you more than I should?

My friends are all out gallivanting,

And here I am,

Alone with you.

You give me comfort,

Help me gather my thoughts,

Like a breath of fresh air,

You are my best friend.

I curse at times,

Stare at the mirror and shout,

You are a hermit!

The Judge strikes the gavel,

And the verdict is in,

Guilty as charged!

But I stay anyway.

You have incredible power.

I can’t help but love you.

Signed,

The Wallflower

Weekend Writing Prompt #115: Write a poem or a piece of prose in exactly 95 words using the word “Judge”

No News is Good News

The Journey Continues…

It’s been awhile since I’ve updated my journal. On the one hand, it means that nothing exciting (or newsworthy) has been going on. On the other hand—and more importantly—the old idiom rings true: No news is good news.

Today marks 1,229 days of sobriety… so that’s good news!

What’s interesting is that the self-awareness I’ve gained through the program has been keeping me on my toes; my conscience is an ever-present observer (and judge) of my behavior. Sometimes it’s annoying and I wonder if it’s some kind of disorder; like I just enjoy casting guilt upon myself. But, the fact of the matter is… it’s a necessary process. It keeps me from straying (too far) out of bounds.

It’s not drinking that I worry about, either. It’s every other lure that catches my attention and cries out to me; “I am what you need, and you need more, more, MORE… of ME!” In other words, I can become addicted to anything. Food, bargain shopping, internet use, even blogging… wait… what?

I just wish it worked with healthier things. I joined a gym several months ago and thus far I’ve only set foot in the door once. And that was to pay my bill!

Speaking of the addictions, I wrote an essay for my English class last semester, Electronic Media: Entertainment or Enslavement. The question addressed was whether or not internet addiction should be added to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). In doing the research, I stumbled on a little gem that I’ve stashed away; something that has helped me with my own ‘self-analysis’ when I’m worried that I may be walking one of those fine lines again.

Mark D. Griffiths PhD* said that the question he is asked most often is what is the difference between a healthy excessive enthusiasm and an addiction? Griffiths’ response is simple, and—if you ask me—the magic formula:

“A healthy excessive enthusiasm adds to life whereas an addiction takes away from it.”

That being said, when I’m taking my inventory and self-reflecting, the question that I ask myself now is not “am I doing too much of THIS?” Rather, it’s “am I neglecting too much of THAT?”

It’s been working for me. It’s not always easy to see you’re becoming addicted to a behavior, but it’s fairly easy to recognize that you’re NOT doing certain things. Things are getting pushed to the wayside; falling through the cracks; spiraling out of control. You can’t miss that!

So… that’s the latest news. That’s where I am today.

School starts in one month and I’ll be too busy to self-reflect or write about the details of my journey once that gets going. That’s ok though. I’ve already registered for my classes and I’m SUPER excited. I’m taking that Web Development class that I mentioned before, and I’ve also added The Bible as Literature. Regrettably, reading the Bible is something that falls to the wayside too often, so I’m excited it will be part of my curriculum.

Everything is moving along!

Now if I can just get myself to the gym. 🙂

The featured image is something I played with recently. I guess you could call if a foot-trait. Ha! It was actually a jogger on the beach. There wasn’t much excitement in the frame as a whole, but I thought it was cool to see her feet against the sand. It looks as though she’s on a very peaceful journey… something I can relate to!

Life is good, sobriety is awesome, and God is great!

—Janet

Fandango’s One Word Challenge: News

*Article mentioned in post: http://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-excess/201605/the-myth-the-addictive-personality

On Solid Ground

Be sure and put your feet in the right place…

…and then stand firm.

Abraham Lincoln

That’s a great quote for me today. I’m beginning to realize that sometimes “self-learning” doesn’t really teach me anything. Well, it does but it doesn’t.

It’s like that joke about men never wanting to ask for directions. I’ll spend hours on the computer—testing out tools— and never take a second to open up any form of instructional material. Obviously that joke applies to women as well. Ha!

What I’m really learning is that sometimes you learn a lot more when you look to others for guidance. That being said, I’m hoping to spend the next (school free) month looking at other blogs—and tutorials and such.

The man in this photograph is the same paddle boarder that was seen in Walking on Water —but on a different day. He was back on solid ground, and looking a little tired. That paddling must be exhausting! I gave the image a silhouette appearance because of the way he’s looking down. He seems humble.

That’s about all for now. Peace & love to you all. Life is good and God is great!

Yesterday’s News

What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it’s supposed to be.

—Author Unknown

I’ve been thinking a lot. That’s what happens when I have time on my hands (did I just say that in an earlier post?). What I’ve noticed lately is that—in certain areas—I’m a bit of a control freak. Nothing huge, mind you, just little nagging issues that bother me.

keep reading

The Man Cave

Boys & Their Toys

It started with skates,

Then a skateboard or two.

The toys just got bigger,

As the little ones grew.

A bike; then a car,

With a rack on the top,

To haul all these toys…

Oh, when does it stop?!

Toys for water and sand,

Three wheelers and such,

Soon the car had to go,

Since it didn’t fit much.

A board for the snow,

One for catching a wave,

The garage has been shrinking,

Now we need a Man Cave!