“Some people won’t look up to God until He puts them on their back.” That point really hits home for me. Agony, sickness and feelings of despair definitely put me on my back. It truly humbled me, and forced me to look up to God.
Whenever I quit drinking before, it was merely that. I quit “picking up the glass”. I would continue on…just as I had (but with a clear head). I strived harder, forging ahead faster, stronger, and more diligently than ever. I had something to prove.
Our pastor is always saying… “Surrender is THIS way…” as he points ahead, “Everything else is that way”, and he points behind his back. Move towards recovery and spiritual growth, or keep going back to what you’re accustomed to, the things that aren’t healthy.
I’m going to get REAL right now and tell you that when I started this blog, it was to share my new faith in God, the ups and downs of my journey into recovery (which began in January of last year), and the wonderful discoveries I’ve made along the way. It really IS a good story.
Whenever I talk about “finding God”, I always wonder how people perceive that. You know… like… I wonder if they think I saw a vision (or thought that I did). How else DO you acknowledge that you’ve found something that can’t be seen or touched?
I wasn’t completely satisfied with my previous post when I hit “Publish” yesterday (this morning, I should say). It didn’t seem complete. I just wasn’t feeling it.
I’m always doing things backwards. Act first, think later. Of course my first thought is always “now WHY did I do THAT?” And then there’s the other side of me that refuses to take a micro step until I know (and understand) everything there is to know about something. And I mean EVERYTHING.
The first thing I want to throw out here today is that I’m new to blogging. Maybe that’s already obvious, but I’m adding a disclaimer to be safe. Doing a little C.Y.A. (as we used to say at the office). Anyway, I just kind of dropped my anchor and jumped in.