Black and White Portrait

Out(side) of Time

This morning I read a ‘daily email’ on the subject of Eternity. One of the definitions is: A state of existence outside of time, and this particular meaning reminded me of something that happened years back—something that’s perfect for today’s Daily Gratitude.

When I was going in and out of sobriety—and making a mess of what little life I had left—one of the things that I had to do was move in with my mother. Things were tough for MANY months. Even though I was staying sober, there was a LOT of friction between the two of us.

I babysat my grandsons for some of those months, and I would often walk the youngest in a stroller while his brother was at school. I remember praying a lot… asking God to remove the character defects that stood in the way of me “being a better daughter;” the selfishness that caused me to act out, the self-pity that made react like a child (because I felt like one for being there) and the bitterness that I felt inside.

On this particular day, I remember feeling frustrated. I pushed the stroller across the bridge (pictured in The Hot Seat) and listened to music as I prayed about it. Stopping on the other side of the bridge, I turned back and looked at the house. I had never really seen our house from that perspective. I’m sure I may have decades ago—when I was a child—but none that I remember.

Anyway, that moment felt like eternity to me; as if I had escaped time. The house looked sad and empty. I knew my mother was inside, but from where I was standing the life—her loving spirit that filled it and made it a home—was missing. It seemed as though I was not seeing, but feeling the future… with my mother gone. All that stood before me was a sad old house.

I had no question it was a sign. A glimpse into what my future could be like if my perspective didn’t change… a life filled with remorse and regret… full of if onlys and what ifs. I’ll never forget that day, and I’m forever grateful for it.

It’s as if… just for a moment… God allowed me to step outside of time.

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed today’s Daily Gratitude!

A word about the image here.

This is kind of random, but it’s actually another one of my personalized portraits. The gentleman is a dear friend of mine, and I took the photograph when we were at the beach sometime back. I’ve been wanting to use it and could never quite figure out how. I thought it was perfect for a state of existence outside of time since he seems to be peering in at us—through the glass of a fast moving vehicle.

Abstract-Hearts Intertwined

Hearts Intertwined

Forever & Ever Amen

I’m interrupting the Alphabet Game for a little abstract fun. A big thank you to Brashley Photography for the challenge, and for the extremely useful instructions on “How to Twirl in Photoshop.”

This is my submission for Photo of the Week-53-Abstract, and how fun it was to make!! These are a few of my favorite fuchsias, incognito, with a little country twang to help them twirl in rhythm.

Peace & Love… Keep on twirling on. 😉

A Sprinkle of Faith

There were a few things that were weighing heavy on my mind when I first reached out to my friend Gil. He’s the one that I wrote about in Hearing God’s Whisper.

I had reached a point in my life—and in my drinking—where I knew that I was not only ready, but I NEEDED to find God. The life I had been living was without faith, without belief, and—looking in the rear view mirror—seemed pointless.

I had no purpose.

One of the most significant things that changed my perspective entirely. Gil inspired me to write my story. It wasn’t so much that he encouraged me to write, it was that he proposed that I “write about how people can change at any age.”

I think that’s when I had my first epiphany. I was ready to accept the challenge! I was going to write the story of how my life was transformed. This actually meant something HUGE. In order to fulfill the mission, I actually had to change!

I HAD A PURPOSE!

I started with a blank piece of paper and had absolutely no idea how it would all turn out, but I set my sights on a glorious future. The possibilities were boundless. All I could imagine was that something magnificent was waiting for me out there, and that all I really had to do to find it… was believe. That tiny glimmer of hope was all it took.

A sprinkle of faith.

After talking with Gil about my struggles and doubts, endless pursuits, and my unceasing inability to ever reach a point of complete fulfillment, I was finally beginning to understand what it meant to be born again—and to look toward eternity.

It meant coming to the table with a clean slate every morning and seeing things from new perspectives every day. It meant that there IS something glorious and magnificent out there. AND it meant that the Perfect Love that I had always been looking for really DID exist…

For eternity.

Next Up: The Comeback Kid

The simple truth is that if you had a mere kernel of faith, a poppy seed, say, you would tell this mountain, ‘Move!’ and it would move. There is nothing you wouldn’t be able to tackle. Matthew 17:20