All posts tagged: FEAR

Is Fear Surreal?

FEAR has Two Meanings: Forget Everything and Run… …or Face Everything and Rise. A quote by Zig Ziglar I think there may be a third option. Be still. Because maybe, like this woman seems to realize, there is nothing to fear—but fear itself. 🙂 Image created for Fandango’s One Word Challenge: Surreal

My Mind’s Eye

From where I was standing, I saw beauty everywhere. The gulls appeared to know me, As if they recognized my stare. My mind’s eye scanned the horizon, Rousing dull shades into vibrant hues, Melancholy grays, Into sapphire blues. Moving quickly, I traversed the mud and the trash. I saw snowflakes and crystals, As I watched the waves crash. The storm the eve before, Left puddles, wind, and freezing air… But on the coast that morning, Not a surfer, Nor I, Had a single care. —Janet Inspired by the Word of the Day Challenge: Dream

The Facade

Don’t trade in  your authenticity for approval. The photography book that I’ve been browsing through is really inspiring me. I’ve said before that I prefer black and whites, and that was actually the only thing I would hang on the walls of my old place, but I rarely finish and/or post one here. So… I thought I would try one today. It was a struggle to go through with it, because the original photograph had some awesome color! But, I stuck to my guns. My goal here was to create contrast. I think I did pretty good lightening the sky, but the bushes and mountains in the background still leave some clutter that I’m not crazy about. I think I like it though! This photograph was taken in Jerome, Arizona- the old 1800’s mining town I talked about before. I love old places! I liked the idea of a “facade” for this post, because I was thinking about authenticity last night. I’m SUPER excited about being in a classroom full of people come August, but I …

Love, Fear & Courage

There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. -John Lennon  Well… it seems that my study of the word trust kind of fizzled out. I knew a whole year on one word was not my cup of tea! 😉 Regardless, even a week (or a month) spent on studying a word is something I would recommend. It seems to work better as an evolving process for me. I move from one word to the next, as I learn and discover things. Lately love, fear and courage are words that keep coming up. I’m learning so much about self-love, which these days I would have to call acceptance. It’s not about my past, or …

A Gentle Glow

Today was a really good day. Although I don’t like to write posts that aren’t uplifting, or bursting with joy, I have to say that yesterday it proved to be helpful. For me anyway. Something in a comment got me thinking about my reluctance to make decisions. He mentioned that some people actually preferred having someone else make the choice… then if (or when) things turn out badly, there is someone else to blame (Thanks Great to Good). When I read that, I knew instantly that it applied to me- in a certain area. WORK. Of all things. No wonder I’ve been struggling with taking the next step. In all the years that I worked for the broker, I was the right hand man. I’ve always thought of it as being the one that got stuck doing everything. You know… being overworked and underpaid, and always feeling slighted- that someone else is getting the credit for all of your efforts. But the reality of it is that I hid behind him. I had the choice to go out and do it on my own, but I …

What If?

After thinking about my life this morning, I had a random, but important thought. About fear. You know—I realized that when I procrastinate about moving towards my dreams, I don’t ever really ask myself the question: What if I fail? Pondering Well, maybe—when I have to take a test or something—but I mean when it comes to taking chances and just going for a goal, or a dream. If I want something bad enough I’m never afraid of failure. When I started my business, I was renting a room in Arizona for $300 a month, sleeping on a blow-up bed, and had no car—so failure was the farthest thing from my mind! Maybe that’s the beauty of “nothing left to lose“. The point here is that I wasn’t afraid of failing—and I gave it my all; without hesitation. What occurred to me today is that, when hesitating about moving forward, my biggest fear is actually… What if I succeed??? Coming from someone who spent a good part of her life self-sabotaging, I think this makes total sense and I’m …

Dark Places

Last night I had an amazing God shot and this image works perfect for the story. Anyone following my story knows that I’ve been my own worst enemy for the better part of my life. I overthink, doubt myself, and self-criticize. Just before bed I was pondering my previous stories about my angst, my fears, and the imaginary THEY’s that I’d been conforming to please (although I did come up with some REAL). Who’s Out There? I was thinking back to my talk about the enemy’s whispers in parts two and seven- when I brought up the question: Who told me those things? That’s when it happened. Genesis 3:11 WHO TOLD YOU THAT YOU WERE NAKED? I’ll tell you right now that this must have come from God because I can’t even remember how or why it burst into my head! And never have I pondered the question that God asked Adam and Eve, or imagined that it meant something more than how it appears on the surface. But last night, I knew that it was important. Who DID tell them?? I discovered that there are …

Confessions: Part Two

If I had to sum up how or why I took the wrong road, I’d say it was because I had no faith or belief in God. To make matters worse, I had no direction, no plans, and no goals. I was a walking, breathing, empty vessel… easily tossed around and swayed by whatever (or whomever) was in my vicinity. I just existed. That’s how the chameleon came to be. It was never intentional. I was a shy and quiet girl, from a perfectly normal family, who JUST wanted to fit in and be liked. I started becoming someone that I was NOT in junior high, when I entered the world of cliques. I never fit perfectly into any one of the groups. To survive that excruciating experience, all I could do was pretend that I wasn’t petrified. I started acting cool. Coolness came with a price. It meant parties with drinking and recreational drugs. It also meant failing my classes, in spite of the fact that I was perfectly capable of passing with excellent grades. I …

Confessions of a Chameleon

I had a great childhood. My parents never insisted that I be anyone other than myself. They never forced me to attend certain schools, or pursue a career of their choosing. They were a bit too overprotective—probably for a good reason—but other than that I was as free as a bird. The sky was the limit! In a sense. Our family lived a quiet and simple life, and that’s all that I knew life to be. Nowadays I refer to it as having grown up in a bubble, but it was a very SAFE bubble. Their primary concern was that I finish high school, enjoy my youth, stay out of trouble, and one day be a happy, honest and responsible woman of integrity, just as they taught me to be. So what was the problem? What stopped me from reaching for the moon? I never learned self-confidence, and I was afraid. The drinking started as fun. You know… teenage parties at night. Things like that. But I LOVED the way it gave me courage and …