The original writing on this little piece of cyber real estate was published on October 3, 2016. It came to life when I was seven months sober, so it has been parked on WordPress for nearly five years—and it has served as the second mini-chapter of the tale of my recovery—a story that was titled “Unteach Me.”
Continue reading “Rewriting Your Story”
“Walk outside on a clear night and just look up into the sky. You are sitting on a planet spinning around in the middle of absolutely nowhere.”
Michael A. Singer
I’m back for my series Life: From A to Z and I’m nearing the end now… with the useful letter “U.” I’ve decided to combine the letters X, Y, and Z, so I have just three more posts to go and then I’ll be moving on to something totally new and different. Hip Hip Hooray! I love new things.
Continue reading “Untethered”
I’m back for a little Life: From A to Z and today I’m on the letter “J.” I love the word JOURNEY because it is such a beautiful way to describe life. Not to sound cliché, but…
I don’t know if young people see it the way that older adults do, though. The younger you are, the longer you have to go, the farther you have to travel, and the more unfamiliar and dim the road ahead of you seems. It has never been explored before!
But as we age, we start looking back on our journey and at the road that was so hard to see before, and there it is… right there under our nose, as clear as day. We recognize it because we walked it. And no matter what, it looks beautiful. Unless, of course, you’re hanging onto any negativity that you picked up along the way (and you’re refusing to give it up).
Continue reading “A Jewel of a Journey”
In thinking about the letter “E,” the words energy and endurance came to mind. As I started working on my image, I wasn’t sure which one I was going to talk about, or what I would even say, so I created something that might tie the two words together. Obviously, this woman has energy, and it’s possible she’s trying to build her endurance. Still, I was drawing a blank.
And then I found my inspiration (thank you Google). This incredible quote by William Barclay…
As a recovering alcoholic who is now joyously sober (going on 5 years next month), and an agnostic turned believer, this quote really resonated with me. When you’re living a life of transformation, and sharing that story with others… it can be terrifying at first. Self-doubt loves to rear it’s ugly head and whisper things like “What if you fail? What if you screw it all up? What will your story say about you then?!?“
It’s a weird place to be. You want to tell EVERYONE the story of how God changed your life, with the innocence and excitement of a child, but you also sense that you’ll have to bear the weight of this HUGE adult responsibility… you have to STAY that way. You have to STAY sober. Otherwise, your story will be like so many other stories out there. “Yeah, God changed me alright. But then I turned around and changed myself back.”
If there is anything good at all that comes from the dark times that so many of us experience—no matter what those dark times might be—it’s that these trials, hardships and adversities make us stronger. They build our endurance. We have to get to the other side of them first, of course, but once we do… we are different.
The way I see it now is that if I was able to live through the hell that I put myself through when I was in my disease, I sure as hell can live out my sobriety. And with a daily surrender, there’s really nothing for me to bear. I turn it over to Him and then it’s in His hands. I get to live in His grace… and He gets all the glory.
Thanks for joining me in my series Life: From A to Z. I hope you enjoyed my thoughts on the letter “E,” and I’ll see you around soon for the letter “F!”
Some of you may have noticed that I’ve changed image styles again. I was recently inspired by an interesting abstract piece that I saw and so I’ve been experimenting with these motion blur backgrounds. When I added the woman (who I photographed at the beach some time ago), I noticed that the colors of her clothes and skin were blending with the water… almost perfectly. How cool is that?!
After 3 years and 10 months of being on this blog, and while suffering from COVID-itis (also known as having extra time and trying to make good use of it), I’ve decided… WHAT THE HECK, let’s go back to the beginning.
Something I’ve realized is that our stories get old. They become stale. When looking back from a new perspective, we see and feel things differently than we did in the past. Maybe we’ve learned more about our lives and our experiences and we need to expand on our old ideas. Or perhaps we find that some of the chapters we’ve lived are no longer relevant to our story; they’re history, and they no longer serve a purpose. Either way, each person’s story is their own, and it’s up to them to make use of it.
I’ve hemmed and hawed about what to do with my 4 year old story. I thought about taking it down— deleting the old pages—because it feels outdated to me, and I fear it’s value has expired. But, after much deliberation and consideration, I’ve decided that it would be more interesting and worthwhile to change it up, or “RE-write” the story—from a totally new perspective.
In the Beginning was first shared on October 2, 2016. It was my very first post, and the very first chapter of my ongoing “real life” story. That’s a lot of firsts. This particular chapter focused on when my problems all started; adolescence. What I’ve learned since writing it, is that fear, loneliness, and confusion are common at that age, and there are many people who had the same exact thoughts, feelings and/or experiences during these young years (and beyond).
I think the key take-away here is that we are never as alone as we think we are, we just can’t find that out unless we are willing to open up and share. That being said, I’ve turned this old chapter into a poem about teenage angst, and the crucial thing that I was lacking in those days… faith.
Innocence flutters away,
As self-awareness blooms,
Philosophy fills the mind,
With questions that consume.
Who am I? Why am I here?
What will I become?
What’s the reason for living?
And where did life come from?
Something inside of us shifts,
At this “coming of age,”
We begin to wear our masks,
And the world becomes our stage.
It’s a crossroads we all face,
Never sure which way to turn,
The directions seem unclear, and…
There are lessons we will learn.
Be strong, and choose wisely my child,
For so many will deceive,
But One will always guide you right,
And all those who ask…
Receive.
I created a new featured image as well… a little pink to represent the wonders of my innocence and youth.
Life is good, and God is great!
READ MORE POSTS IN THIS SERIES
In The Beginning
Rewriting Your Story
Hmmm… well isn’t that a wee bit grandiloquent?!
Between the Word of the Day, grandiloquent, and the weekend writing prompt, peristeronic, I’m beginning to think that I need to keep a thesaurus and a dictionary at my desk!
Grandiloquent: Language or behavior is very formal, literary, or exaggerated, and is used by people when they want to seem important. Fancy or pretentious.
Honestly, I don’t think that being cheerful, praying, and giving thanks no matter what is grandiloquent at all. It’s biblical.
Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live.
1 THESSALONIANS 5:16-18 (MSG)
I thought that this might be the perfect opportunity to submit my entry to Out of the Ashes, for the challenge: New Directions—a prompt that was started by yours truly—ME.
It’s terribly awkward, spreading myself so thin like that… but these are the COVID days, and I think that most of us can agree… anything goes.
I have a zillion things that I could write about new directions—starting over or changing the course of your life—but I think that the perfect starting point is gratitude; being grateful for every single thing in your life: A roof over your head, food on the table, or even the basics like air, soap and water.
I think that when we learn to be grateful for “life itself”—when we’re cheerful, prayerful, and thankful—it clears paths and opens doors. An ungrateful mind is muddled with negativity and complaints, and it creates a toxic fog.
The more we focus on despair and hopelessness, the cloudier it gets. After awhile, we can’t even see ahead of us let alone try to change our course! Mindsets are crucial, and I like to think that this biblical instruction is offering us truth and wisdom about the value and benefit of having a healthy and positive mindset.
So, at the risk of sounding grandiloquent, “be cheerful, pray, and give thanks… no matter what!”
Written for Word of the Day Challenge: Grandiloquent, and Out of the Ashes prompt: New Directions.
The featured image is another friend portrait that I did. The leaves were added as a finishing touch, and I couldn’t help but think that a woman celebrating the falling leaves (which my friend would inevitably do) was the perfect representation of gratitude.
The “oil paint” tool on my old PC never worked before—I think because of my graphic card—and I realized yesterday, while working on my “moon art,” that it’s available to me now, on my new laptop. Hence the new oil paint effect.
And I couldn’t be more grateful!
That’s about all for now. Peace & love to you all…
