Humor

Midnight Mayhem

I’m stirring up mayhem tonight, and I’ll probably kick myself for it later. My garden photographs are waiting to be sorted, and my short story still needs an ending, but I REALLY wanted to work on this portrait—so here I am—finishing up in the wee hours of the night.

Actually, the “mayhem” I’ve added is supposed to push the portrait toward the humorous side, sort of like a comic book, but I think it ended up looking more serious than fun. Anyway, there’s a story in here somewhere. I had to send a photo to the college for our virtual graduation, so I ended up with a self-portrait to play with. I don’t know… I thought it was about time I sucked it up and did a portrait of my own—for me.

Life is simply a mix of mayhem and magnolias, so embrace this gentle riot and gather flowers along the way.

kat savage

House of Joy

Hidden in the sticks,

Forbidden love, house of tricks,

Lonely man finds joy.

I’m sorry. A little rough around the edges there, but what the hell. Couldn’t resist. I’m finding solace in humor and lightheartedness these days. Anyway… this is a recycled image from the old copper mining town of Jerome (Arizona), once known as the “wickedest town in the west.” Today it is home to about 450 residents (many of them artists) and it’s a fun tourist attraction that I had the pleasure of visiting. My haiku is a bit literal, as the building shown really WAS a bordello back in the day. Now it houses a quaint little gift shop.

That’s about all for now. Peace & Love, and may your day be a great one!

Written for Ronovan Writes Haiku Challenge: Stick & Trick

Liebster Award

I’m humbled to share that I’ve been nominated for the Liebster Award and it is my honor to accept it (and to pass the torch on to some of the wonderful blogs that I follow). A big Thank You and Shout Out to Michael A. Kuch at Kuched.blog for the nomination. I read Michael when I’m having coffee, lying in bed, and occasionally while dancing.

RULES

  • Thank the blogger who nominated you, and provide a link to their blog.
  • Answer the 11 questions given to you.
  • Share 11 facts about yourself.
  • Nominate 5-11 other bloggers.
  • Ask your nominees 11 questions.
  • Notify your nominees once you have uploaded your post

Answers to Michael’s Questions

  1. If you were a shape, would you rather be a square, triangle, circle, or free-form amoeba? Definitely amoeba! I’m extremely fluid and could never be confined to a rigid shape.
  2. Name one habit you would like to quit and one you would like to start? I’d like to stop questioning and doubting myself all of the time. I’d like to start walking regularly (at least 3 days a week like I had planned!!)
  3. If you could change your first name, what would you call yourself? Levi.
  4. What does the world need: more love or less hate? Well… now that Jackie DeShannon and Dionne Warwick are singing it in my head (and probably will be for the rest of the day), I’d have to say “What the World needs now, is Love, Sweet Love.” It is my hope that hate will dissipate when enough of that sweet love is spread around.
  5. Have you ever been mistaken for someone else? Many times. I’m not sure WHO, but I’ve often heard; “Oh, wow… you look just like someone else I know” or “I’m sorry, I thought you were someone else.” Who IS this mystery woman they call someone else? That’s what I’d like to know.
  6. What’s your favorite Car Karaoke song to sing? There are SO many, but for an energetic drive I’d have to say Happiness by NEEDTOBREATHE (link provided because it’s a great song by one of my favorite bands who I saw in concert not long ago… thank you very much).
  7. Burial, Cremation or Cryogenically Frozen? Honestly, I don’t like to think about death so I have no idea yet.
  8. How do you like your apples? I don’t really like apples but I’ll eat Apple Pie on special occasions (if there is no Banana Cream on hand) and I’ll eat parts of a Candied or Caramel Apple.
  9. What’s missing in your life? A beach house or an R.V. to roam the countryside. I’ll shoot for one or the other (or both!) when I retire. Retire “from what” I have NO idea. Ha-Ha-Ha!
  10. Favorite toy as a child? I’d have to say roller and/or ice skates. I’m actually thinking of taking up rollerblading again (did that in my 30’s and loved it).
  11. Salty or sweet tooth? Both, but if I MUST choose I’ll take sweet.

11 Facts About Myself

  1. I don’t really care for shoes.
  2. When I was young, I wanted to be a dancer. I keep telling myself—as motivation—that if I can lose the extra pounds that are holding me back (keeping me from being limber and causing shortness of breath when I work out), I’ll reward myself with private dance lessons. I’m 99% sure this will happen.
  3. I have NO Italian in my blood, but I married one, lived with another one for 10 years, and have dated several. I have no explanation for this. Maybe I’m just drawn to names that end in a vowel? (Joke!!)
  4. Number 3 can’t be confirmed because I’ve never had my DNA tested. Note to Self: Do that, for the sake of curiosity.
  5. I don’t fly.
  6. I talked too much and had no filter when I was a toddler, became painfully shy around the age of 13, and now—in my fifties— I’m back to talking too much with no filter.
  7. My attention span lasts about 3 minutes.
  8. I know I have WAY more to contribute to this world than what I’ve offered thus far, and that’s the goal I’ll be focusing on after graduation next year.
  9. I don’t own a car at the moment, but with the way gas prices are going it may be time to buy one.
  10. I miss my road trips SO much and hope to be off on a new adventure when school is finished.
  11. If I ever overcome my fear of flying I’d LOVE to visit all of those places I can’t get to right now.

My Nominees Are…

  1. Wine to Water
  2. Flannel with Faith
  3. While Walking Today
  4. The Potter’s Project
  5. Just Teri

I’ve listed these 5 women because they’re kind, thoughtful, funny, and inspiring… and I can relate to them all in so many different ways. I love reading their posts, and I encourage others to check out their blogs. I could go on and on with nominees, but I’m keeping it simple today.

Questions for my Nominees

I’m going to mix and match here as my imagination is running low, and my 3 minute attention span ran out an hour ago!

  1. What is your greatest life lesson so far?
  2. What’s your favorite Car Karaoke song to sing?
  3. Name one habit you would like to quit, and one you would like to start?
  4. What has been your greatest challenge in the past month?
  5. Share one thing you’ve never shared before about yourself.
  6. What are you most afraid of?
  7. Have you ever been mistaken for someone else?
  8. What’s missing in your life?
  9. What is the number ONE thing on your bucket list?
  10. Would you rather camp or do a five star hotel?
  11. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

I’m sorry to anyone I’ve left out. You’re welcome to to join in… NO discrimination here, and I’ve never been one to follow the rules!

Peace & Love…
—Janet

Selfies

CAUTION: To avoid injury, please remain at least 6 feet away from the cliff’s edge (and other people) before you pan in and shoot.

This is another shot from my old hike to “the Hollywood Sign.” I was working on the “sketch” effect and wasn’t even sure what I’d do with the image, until I saw the 3 things challenge. The man’s shirt is what originally caught my eye: Young, Broke & Fabulous. Something I could really relate to. Hey, two out of three ain’t bad! 😉

#ThreeThingsChallenge: Injury, Shoot, Pan

Femme Fatale

black cat

Cold-hearted feline,

Smugly bats her eyelashes,

Struts across the lawn.

If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that my Haiku was written for our cat “Gypsy” who thinks she rules the roost (and likes to ignore people). BUT, she was nice enough to pose for the featured image, so I’ll cut her some slack.

We love Gypsy. She waits at the front door and signals us with the cutest and meekest meow, so we’ll let her in. Then she sashays her way straight to the back door and waits again, for us to let her out to the backyard. I guess she’s too good to use the gate. Ha! Anyway…

Thanks for reading.
A good afternoon to you all!
—Janet

Written for Ronovan Writes Haiku Challenge: Cat and Bat

Weathering the Storm

Not much required,
To get through the storm,
Here’s advice I was given in life:
Drive a modest abode,
Keep the tank full of gas,
Ne’er forget…
Your Swiss Army knife.

So… maybe I’m NOT the sharpest tool in the shed. It’s the 19th of April and I’ve just learned (via Google) what NaPoWriMo stands for! With just 11 days left, I find out that it’s National Poetry Writing Month. Ha! One would think that—with my unusually low tolerance for curiosity—I might have inquired about this sooner. Anyway…

The image is another photo from yesterday’s walk (with 1 or 2 hours worth of playful editing included). LOVE the RV!

That’s about all for now. Peace & Love!

Written for RDP Sunday: Swiss

Good Ol’ Days

family portrait

Since I’m still excited about personalized portraits (and waiting for my next victim) I thought I’d play around with a new style this weekend. This one’s an old family photograph that’s been circulating in my “circle.”

The original was scanned, and pretty small, so the task was to figure out how to keep it from getting stretched and pixelated. I decided to do it in black and white, turn it into an old Polaroid, and then add a background to frame it. If you haven’t guessed already (and why would you), I’m the little blonde in shorts sitting up front—on my Aunt’s lap. The tall, dark, and handsome man straight behind me in the very back is my dad (who is sadly, no longer with us), and next to him (on his left) is my mom.

I’m going to take a guess and say that this photo was taken in the late 60’s. Yikes. The good ol’ days indeed.

Good Ol’ Days

A phrase used by old people. When these words are used in combination it is a signal to young people to get the hell out. “Ahh yes the Good Ol’ Days. Did I ever tell you about the time we rode the train from St. Louis to San Diego?” (this is where you leave)

Definition courtesy of Urban Dictionary.

Birds on a roof

Stay in Your Own Square

I am easily amused. A cheap date, so to speak. It takes very little to keep me happy.

This morning I splurged and purchased a new program, for my “loaner” laptop, called Smart Photo Editor.

A blogger/photographer that I follow had mentioned it in an old post, and I’ve been waiting for the right time to buy it.

All I can say is I love it! I’m like a kid in a candy store right now. For a mere $30 I have enough entertainment to last me through a few months of quarantine—if need be. Let’s hope it’s not that long. It’s VERY easy to use (for anyone who’s interested in some “at home” entertainment). Of course, I’d rather be out walking… but it’s still raining outside.

Anyway, the featured image was my first project this morning. It’s a photo from my camping trip last year, and the birds appear to have one up on us when it comes to the rules of social distancing. 😉

That’s about all for now. Thanks for reading and I’ll be back very soon!

Giant Fruit

If people could shrink,

Food would last so much longer.

That’s just what I think.

Written for the Ronovan Writes Haiku Challenge: Shrink & Think

That was a tough Haiku! There was no getting around those two words without using some kind of humor. It’s not my favorite, but it DOES go with the featured image.

I went through my old posts and found an image that I’d forgotten about. It was a photograph of an orange on our tree, and a drop of dew that I caught in the frame. I changed the colors and effects just a bit to make it slightly different from my original. Since the hand I added gives the illusion that the fruit is either very large… or the hand is very small, this Haiku kind of wrote itself.

It’s way too late at night to get into some of my thoughts about the COVID-19 madness. Food shortages are real around here… probably not something to laugh at. It’s hard not to think that us common folk are being manipulated.

But… that’s a another story, for another day.

Peace & Love. Stay safe. Be healthy. Pray.


—Janet

The Quest

They came in droves and they filled the store,

Faces straight, they were on a quest.

Carts overflowing, non-perishables,

That they’d safely keep in their nest.

An innocent act, at first it seemed,

But some… oh they failed the test.

They bought, and they bought, and they piled it HIGH,

Leaving nothing, not a stitch, for the rest.

Written for the Word of the Day Challenge: Quest

Knock Knock

Who’s there?

Banana.

Banana who?

Banana split so ice screamed!

With all of my talk about eating, I thought some “food humor” was in order—accompanied by a free Pexels image.

I’ve been wanting to share some of the information I’m discovering out there—tips and tricks or what have you—but I’ve held off for fear that too many new topics will muddle my already oddly diverse and eclectic blog. Then this morning, with a clear head, I sat up and thought… “eh, who cares!?”

That being said, I am sharing my very first…

FOOD FUN FACT!

The glycemic index gives us a way to tell “good carbs” from “bad carbs.” In my case, carrying weight around the middle was an indication that I was eating too many of those bad carbs. The scale is 0-100 and here is the key:

  • 55 or less = Low (good)
  • 56- 69 = Medium
  • 70 or higher = High (bad)

The smaller the number the better. Those high numbers are what makes your blood sugar spike, wreaking havoc on your body if you do it consistently. These numbers are cool to check out.

I was sad that bananas are often labeled bad because they’re higher in sugar than other fruits, and bananas are one of my favorites. What I found out though, is that they’re not so bad on the glycemic index.

What’s even better is that the glycemic index of foods can change. Unripe bananas are lower on the index… coming in at 41. The riper they get, the higher their glycemic index will be. So now I won’t wait for the bananas to turn all ripe and yellow, I will try to eat them green. I prefer them in my smoothies anyway, and it’s great when they’re not all soft and mushy.

Pasta is my other favorite food! Honestly, I could eat it every day. The longer pasta cooks, the higher the index will be, so serving your noodles Al dente is the healthier way to go. Who knew?!

Lastly, using lemon juice (or vinegar) during food preparation will lower the food’s glycemic index. So squeeze some lemon on that penne!

I hope you’ve enjoyed my Food Fun Fact! I’m still not sure it will be a regular thing. Mainly I wanted to record the information that I’m discovering, and sharing them here seemed like a great way to do it.

Anyway, thanks for reading… Peace & Love!

Cartoon

Road Rage

I’m at the end of Day 3 and I’ve had an enlightening afternoon. I thought I’d write down a few tidbits before bed.

I’ve been hyper focused on food—and the fact that I want to eat healthy—but all that focus really does is make me want to eat. Next week part of my plan will be to find new activities, things to keep my mind occupied and get me outside away from the computer.

I thought I’d try out a healthy recipe (more food), so I ventured out to Sprouts. What I learned there is that eating healthy costs (at least) twice as much as it does to eat junk. And by the time I got done I was too hungry to cook—I needed food fast. I think it’s a blood sugar thing.

It’s still all mental work right now. I ate really good most of the day, and then I cheated a little. Note to self: Hide the peanut butter cookies! (She’ll never listen). Anyway, tomorrow is a new day.

I thought I’d create a little visual humor tonight. Off in the distance I see the me I want to be… jogging to Chariots of Fire in slow motion. But my dream is rudely interrupted as I (accidentally) knock down the clerk at Sprouts… while I’m dashing to the peanut butter cookie aisle. Ha! 😉

That’s all for now. Peace & Love…
Tomorrow is a brand new day, a fresh start!

Hawk on a Pole

One Eye Open

On a beautiful day, as I scout the land…

I keep one eye open, my lens in my hand.

I look down, I look up, and then what do I see?

A beautiful creature…

Who is prospecting ME!

My backyard wanderings were pretty successful today. I was thrilled to capture this Hawk who was checking things out. When I saw the Word of the Day Challenge: Prospect, I knew it was the perfect prospect indeed. 😉

I hope you enjoy it!

—Janet

My 3 Keys to Happiness

Happiness. What a great word.

I perused the web to see what people had to say about the “Keys to Happiness.” It was an interesting experiment, because everyone had different opinions. People have their own ideas about what makes them happy, or what happiness even means.

That being said, I decided it would be fun to use my “H” words to express my keys to happiness (in less than 500 words). The disclaimer here is that these are ‘my own’ ideas, and I’m limiting it to words that begin with the letter “H.”

1. Honesty

Honesty is huge. In recovery, for example, you need to make a searching and fearless moral inventory of yourself. To take that one step further, you need to admit to God, yourself, and another human being, the exact nature of your wrongs. It’s not always easy, but it opens the door to honest self-reflection.

Personally, these steps were life changing. They opened my eyes to the fact that not only am I incredibly flawed, but that—and here is an honest key to my own happiness—other people’s flaws are not my business. For far too long I wanted to fix the people around me. Not because I was a selfless individual, but because I believed that “their flaws” were what stood between me and my own happiness.

Be honest with others and—by all means—with yourself.

 “Every lie is two lies, the lie we tell others and the lie we tell ourselves to justify it.”

Robert Brault

2. Humor

When I’m feeling really cruddy, one of the first things I notice is that my sense of humor is missing. I’m not really sure where it goes… but it hides out. I have to go digging through the muck to find it, yank it by its leash, and bring it back into the open.

I’ll never forget a poem I read, by Frank Solanki, called Repetition. My immediate thought was “Oh my God, that’s me!” In the blogging world, sometimes I worry that my posts are repetitious.

I’m saying the same things… over and over, and changing up the way in which I say them. It’s easy to get caught in that vortex of worry. Frank’s poem made me forget my worries, and just laugh. It reminded me not to take everything so seriously.

Say what you want, and do what feels right. If you’re not tearing someone else down, or being grossly negative, it’s all good. Just remember to laugh.

“What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul.”

Yiddish Proverb

3. Hugs

They say that hugs have many health benefits; they can reduce stress, improve immunity, and lower your risk of heart disease, to name a few.

I haven’t done my own research, but I know for a fact that hugs boost my happiness. I’m a HUGE hugger. Being somewhat introverted, sometimes words fail me… but I’ve never hesitated to reach out and offer a hug.

“Hugging is a silent way of saying you matter to me.”

Anonymous

So, there you have it. My three “H” keys to happiness: Honesty, Humor & Hugs.

Thanks for reading! I hope you found some enjoyment here, and that you’ve already discovered your own keys to happiness.

See you around soon for the letter “I.”

Peace & love!
—Janet

Sneakers: Family Portrait

It’s been REALLY hot this week. I’ve been spending my time inside, trying to stay cool—and thinking of ways to be creative.

I went through my archives, looking for ways to use old images in new ways. I stumbled on an old family photograph, and I couldn’t help but notice that the whole clan was wearing sneakers.

read full post

An Ode to Blogging

We’re going out in public,

So please put on your mask.

Say “I’m fine” and “thank you,”

If anyone should ask.

I know your thoughts run rampant,

You want to share them all,

But these are not the places;

The grocery store, or mall.

Wait until you’re all alone,

And type them with your hand.

Share them on the blog instead,

Where people understand.

read FULL POST

Eclectic Thoughts

How does one decipher,

Mixed messages conveyed?

Go where there is no path,

But be careful not to stray.

Reach for the stars is guidance…

That often goes around,

But can this be achieved…

When keeping both feet on the ground?

Am I shooting for the moon…

If I aim to rise above the crowd?

Or is this evidence…

That my head is in the clouds?

Unraveling ancient proverbs,

Double edged, their meanings dual,

Will knowledge bring me power…

Or the wisdom of a fool?

—Janet

Written for Fandango’s One Word Challenge: Eclectic

Wool-gathering

BAD DAY AT SCHOOL

It required too much effort;

Listening to his speech…

Dreaming of tomorrow,

Things just out of reach…

“Learn anything?” he asked…

As I exited the class,

“Well…” I answered softly,

“These chairs sure hurt my …”

—Janet

Weekend Writing Prompt #92: Wool-gathering (36 words)

Fandango’s One Word Challenge: Anything

RDP Saturday: Effort

Dating Disasters

Over at Harry’s Beach Bar,

The music plays all night.

My date and I stopped in there,

To have a quick little bite.

Regrettably I’d told a tale,

About my rock star vocals,

How shocked I was,

To read the sign:

Karaoke TONIGHT for Locals!

No doubt, I was in a pickle,

For my singing he’d abhor,

So I excused myself…

To the ladies room,

And left through the back door.

Three Things Challenge: Rock Star, Beach, Pickle

Caught on the Web

Since the web’s inception

So much has gone amiss

A simple online visit

Sucks you into the abyss

In pursuit of knowledge

Google’s the new guru

And when you have a question

Sometimes Quora has a clue

Twitter’s full of hashtags

While Facebook finds your friends

Pandora plays your music

Amazon delivers trends

I need to take a break

Be free of my Wi-Fi

To say it would be easy

Would be nothing but a lie

My friends yell “GET OUTSIDE!”

My butt feels like a log…

“I’ll be there in a minute! —

— Once I’m finished with my blog!”

The Shape I’m In

Everywhere I wandered,

I saw circles… and I saw squares.

As I walked alone,

These perfect shapes all walked in pairs.

Feeling asymmetrical,

I longed to fit the norm.

I stretched and pulled, and bent myself,

While trying to conform.

But it was all in vain, you see…

My shape was never wrong.

I’ve embraced this form God gave me,

And it’s a joy to be oblong.

Well, I finally did it. My first writing inspired by the Word of the Day Challenge: Oblong. 

It feels a little naked without a featured image, but that’s OK. It’s nice to change things up once in a while and I didn’t want to end up focusing on that all day. 

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it… and that this is the first of more to come. 

Have a beautiful day!

Undecided

Shy
Cautious
Ambitious

It seems that I’m doing this Mood project backwards.  I wanted to do something with the tree, couldn’t decide between the versions, and then decided to find several moods; one for each. I think the idea was to take a photograph that fit my mood. Now I’m adjusting my mood to fit the image!

That being said, I think the mood for the day is: Undecided 

Time for coffee!

Joy Incognito

Last night I started thinking… hmm… I think I’m already bored of this little JOY ornament! That’s me: easily amused, but I tire of things quickly. But I’m stepping out of the norm, and sticking with it—even though my mind is saying NO NO NOOO. I think that makes it even more interesting. I’m going to have to find ways to make it humorous or entertaining!

Anyway, Joy heard the rumor that I was thinking about scrapping her and she tried to hide…

Joy in Hat

I found her though, and I even captured her in black and white. I’m keeping her close because I have to hit the rake….

2016-14-12-10-31-55

and I’m worried I might lose her in there!